Nerd Dice: Background Story

Disclaimer: This story was based on real Dungeons & Dragons characters. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Oh yeah, and if you don't like the way I portrayed your character, leave a complaint in the comments form below.

Galatea Greenthorne sipped from her mug of ale. "Well, it's a funny story, really. You see, there was this poker game. I was running a bit low on gold at the time, and even though Daddy would utterly have disapproved, I would have had to play songs until I passed out to drum up the gold I needed for my supplies. So there I was, joining in on this poker game with a bunch of gnomes. Can you imagine? Gnomes? Yeah, it was crazy."

Niddock Houk Linnpert Farkaddo Slumputtle wandered over and interjected at this point. "She wasn't even invited! She just barged in."

"Shut up, thief. I'm having a private conversation, here." Galatea tossed her head and one of her exceedingly long braids whipped out, coming close to knocking over a mug of ale on a neighboring table.

"And we were having a private poker game, cheater!"

"Selûne's eyes! I still won, didn't I? It doesn't change the fact that you owe me money. And lots of it. And I'm not going to let you just wander off without paying up."

The cavalier bard returned to her conversation after Niddock Houk Linnpert Farkaddo Slumputtle abandoned the argument in a huff. Taking a long draught of ale, she launched into an explanation of how she had met the other members of her odd band of travellers.

It was late evening, and they were far from any town or settlement. The gnome had already given up on most attempts to escape Galatea's dogged vigilance. One hundred gold pieces was too much money to allow it to slink off in the night or behind a befuddling illusion, and the bard used all her skill, wiles, luck and determination to stick to the strange little man like a bad reputation. So they settled down in a clearing in the woods with a grudging comeraderie borne of shared experience. Which was not to say that Niddock Houk Linnpert Farkaddo Slumputtle (whom Galatea insisted on calling "Ned") would mind terribly if a dire badger ate his nemesis in her sleep. And in the meantime she was a convenient target for any new pranks he could come up with.

And they wondered if maybe there wasn't some kind of dire animal outside the dying glow of their campfire when they heard a snuffling growl and a rustling in the bushes. The pair jumped to their feet, bracing for a fight, as a wolf bounded into the clearing and paused, tongue lolling. Galatea rubbed her eyes, because it seemed like the wolf had a strange hide-covered hairy bundle on its back. And then the bundle started to chatter!

"What are you doing? This is the wrong direction! Turn around you stupid wolf!" The bundle shook and produced to small-sized arms that waved around expressively. As her eyes focused, she could swear that it looked like a very grubby, scruffy, twig and leaf covered halfling.

And before anyone could do anything else, the wolf bounded over to the gnome and began to lick his face.

"I hope that means she likes you and not that she's hungry, Ned," said Galatea, lowering her guard somewhat. The halfling continued to berate his mount, while the gnome sputtered and wiped wolf saliva from his face. The wolf laid down next to Ned, knocking the halfling from her back, and looked ready to contentedly spend the night there with her new-found friend.

Feeling like neither of the newcomers was a threat, Galatea began to settle back on the bedroll, preparing to question the halfling about his identity and purpose, when once again, noise approached in the forest.

"Garg! Garg! I can't see you, Garg! Where did you go?" A very large, deep voice shouted, and Galatea sprung to her feet again, drawing the short sword at her belt. A large, rough-looking half orc burst into the clearing as well, and looked visibly relieved when he spotted the wolf (who was panting happily, with a fawning look at Niddock Houk Linnpert Farkaddo Slumputtle) and the halfling (who was still apparently frustrated at his wolf's misbehavior, and was angrily stomping his feet).

"Well, welcome to the party," said Galatea, warily eying what was obviously a big ugly beefy barbarian. The half orc ignored her and strolled over to the sulking halfling.

"Garg, are you hurt?" The halfling shook his head and then resignedly settled next to his wolf, near the fire. He eyed Ned and Galatea suspiciously before turning to the half orc and speaking to him in a low voice.

It was Niddock Houk Linnpert Farkaddo Slumputtle who finally broke the ice and introduced himself (and Galatea, as an afterthought). After stoking up the fire and sharing some food, the newcomers finally warmed up to the odd pair and explained about an adventure they were currently undertaking. Galatea produced a winebag she'd been saving and they all shared from it, telling stories. By morning it was decided they would travel on together (mostly for practical purposes, because the wolf wouldn't seem to leave Ned alone).

"And that's how we ended up together, as odd as it seems," concluded Galatea, draining the dregs from her mug. She was feeling a wee bit sloshed now. "Not exactly what you'd consider a great legend for bards to tell!" And with that she bid her companion goodnight.