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Waiting rooms suck. Especially at the hospital. At least I have my imagination to keep me company.
This Was How it Should Have Gone
INT. ROYAL PRINCE ALFRED HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - DAY
ARJ and MR WIGGINS sit on cushioned seats along the wall across from a
reception desk. A sign on the desk reads: "MRI Waiting Room". ARJ is wearing
her black Tenacious D t-shirt
Teen Titans: A Kid's Game, Mr Wiggins reads
Endless Nights. Enter JACK BLACK and KYLE
(sitting next to ARJ)
(looking up from her comic)
Jack Black? Kyle Gass? What are you guys doing here?
(sitting next to Mr Wiggins)
There was an incident with a guitar pick. I don't really wanna talk about it.
ARJ and WeirdArms look at each other and shrug.
So, ahh... what are you guys in for?
They think I might have a syrinx.
Syrinx? I thought that was the thing that Wonder Boy fought.
It's like a cyst in your spinal cord. Gross, huh?
(shaking his head)
Man, that's heavy.
Rage Kage! I have an idea! Oh my God! It's brilliant! Come with me! Quickly!
JB gallops out of the room with KG in tow. ARJ and WeirdArms look at each other and shrug. A few seconds later, the D return with guitars in hands.
(playing a power chord)
With the mighty power of rock...
(playing same power chord)
we will heal you!
Adam puts down his trade and rises slowly. The RECEPTIONIST looks over her desk at the guitar-weilding duo dubiously.
I don't feel any different...
We're just gettin' warmed up!
KG trills out an appreggio as JB plays a sequence of chords.
Come! Sing with us!
There's a hole in my spinal cord, dear Arjy, dear Arjy.
JB & KG rock out.
INT. WAITING ROOM
ARJ sits between JB and KG. JB is reading
Teen Titans. All three look
up as MR WIGGINS enters with a female MEDICAL TECHNICIAN who is holding a
packet of films.
It worked! I'm cured!
It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. The MRI shows clearly there are no traces of the syrinx anywhere.
ARJ jumps out of her chair to hug Mr Wiggins. JB and Rage Kage rise majestically and bow.
It was the least we could do. And now, we must travel the land, righting wrongs and performing miracles wherever we go, to show the mighty power of rock.
JB picks up his guitar and kisses the hand of the technician as he sweeps out of the room.
What about my guitar pick?
OK, except for the part about Mr Wiggins being miraculously cured by Tenacious D, that's all pretty much true. He really does have a cyst in his spinal cord, stretching from the top of the 3rd thoracic vertebra to the bottom of the 5th.
What that means is... well, we don't really know at the moment. He was seeing a neurosurgeon because of symptoms that the syrinx doesn't really explain, so now he might have two problems with his nervous system. In the meantime he is just playing musical (figuratively, not literally like in my little waiting room fantasy) specialists to find out what's going on. It may be that the syrinx never really causes a problem and he just needs to keep an eye on it. Until we find out more, please send awesome Voodoo powers and/or good Vibes our way. Next month: the neurologist gives him a poke.
This is definitely not helping the Neverending PhD.