The Geek Icon

Waiting rooms suck. Especially at the hospital. At least I have my imagination to keep me company.

This Was How it Should Have Gone

FADE IN:

INT. ROYAL PRINCE ALFRED HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - DAY

ARJ and MR WIGGINS sit on cushioned seats along the wall across from a reception desk. A sign on the desk reads: "MRI Waiting Room". ARJ is wearing her black Tenacious D t-shirt and reading: Teen Titans: A Kid's Game, Mr Wiggins reads Sandman: Endless Nights. Enter JACK BLACK and KYLE GASS.

JB

(sitting next to ARJ)

Awesome shirt.

ARJ

(looking up from her comic)

Jack Black? Kyle Gass? What are you guys doing here?

KG

(sitting next to Mr Wiggins)

There was an incident with a guitar pick. I don't really wanna talk about it.

ARJ and WeirdArms look at each other and shrug.

JB

So, ahh... what are you guys in for?

MR WIGGINS

They think I might have a syrinx.

JB

Syrinx? I thought that was the thing that Wonder Boy fought.

ARJ

It's like a cyst in your spinal cord. Gross, huh?

KG

(shaking his head)

Man, that's heavy.

JB

(jumping up)

Rage Kage! I have an idea! Oh my God! It's brilliant! Come with me! Quickly!

JB gallops out of the room with KG in tow. ARJ and WeirdArms look at each other and shrug. A few seconds later, the D return with guitars in hands.

JB

(playing a power chord)

With the mighty power of rock...

KG

(playing same power chord)

we will heal you!

Adam puts down his trade and rises slowly. The RECEPTIONIST looks over her desk at the guitar-weilding duo dubiously.

MR WIGGINS

I don't feel any different...

JB

We're just gettin' warmed up!

KG trills out an appreggio as JB plays a sequence of chords.

JB

Come! Sing with us!

MR WIGGINS

(singing)

There's a hole in my spinal cord, dear Arjy, dear Arjy.

JB & KG rock out.

FADE TO:

INT. WAITING ROOM

ARJ sits between JB and KG. JB is reading Teen Titans. All three look up as MR WIGGINS enters with a female MEDICAL TECHNICIAN who is holding a packet of films.

MR WIGGINS

It worked! I'm cured!

MEDICAL TECHNICIAN

It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. The MRI shows clearly there are no traces of the syrinx anywhere.

ARJ jumps out of her chair to hug Mr Wiggins. JB and Rage Kage rise majestically and bow.

JB

It was the least we could do. And now, we must travel the land, righting wrongs and performing miracles wherever we go, to show the mighty power of rock.

JB picks up his guitar and kisses the hand of the technician as he sweeps out of the room.

KG

Umm...

(pause)

What about my guitar pick?

FADE OUT:

THE END

OK, except for the part about Mr Wiggins being miraculously cured by Tenacious D, that's all pretty much true. He really does have a cyst in his spinal cord, stretching from the top of the 3rd thoracic vertebra to the bottom of the 5th.

What that means is... well, we don't really know at the moment. He was seeing a neurosurgeon because of symptoms that the syrinx doesn't really explain, so now he might have two problems with his nervous system. In the meantime he is just playing musical (figuratively, not literally like in my little waiting room fantasy) specialists to find out what's going on. It may be that the syrinx never really causes a problem and he just needs to keep an eye on it. Until we find out more, please send awesome Voodoo powers and/or good Vibes our way. Next month: the neurologist gives him a poke.

This is definitely not helping the Neverending PhD.

At 17-03-2006 02:13PM Digital Bill digitalbill@gmail.com commented:

ARJy,
Sorry to hear of Mr. W's travails. I'll send my best Vibes of Technology, and put on some Tenacious D to boost the power!
=DB

At 17-03-2006 02:47PM ARJ roceal@jngm.net commented:

Thanks, DB. We need all the mojo we can get.

At 09-04-2006 02:46AM Shelley shelleyp@burningbird.net commented:

Hey ARJ, just wanting to check and see how Mr. Wiggins is doing. Have been sending vodoo.

At 12-04-2006 11:06AM ARJ roceal@jngm.net commented:

Thanks for the voodoo, Shelley! I am going to post an update soon. Positive-ish news, I think the voodoo is working.

About the Geek Icon

This is the weblog of a computer geek with a thousand interests, documenting the ins and outs, ups and downs of her daily life. A dual citizen of the US and Australia who has settled (for the time being) in Sydney. Read more about her on the bio page.

Recently on JNGM